The Week In View

Unemployment hit 3 million yesterday. In the latest round of lob losses, the Grimethorpe Grommets factory closed, shedding 4000 jobs.

There were 67 flood warnings still in force yesterday as Britain continued to soak under heavy rains. Many sporting events were cancelled. Sales of Wellington Boots reached record levels.

It was reported yesterday that many pubs are closing because their clientele, most of whom are no longer employed, can no longer afford to drink in them. Said our Virtual Economics Advisor, Andy Beharrell, "this loss of output to the economy is well known to be amongst the many costs of unemployment".

The best-selling new travel book "Beautiful Biggleswade" has now surpassed the record sales set by J.K.Rowling's previous bestseller, Harry Potter.

Dear Auntie. I am a GP. Unemployed people keep coming to me and asking for me to prescribe anti-depressants. I am so busy I can no longer keep up and am becoming very depressed. What should I do?

You know, I have been thinking. With this weather set to continue, perhaps we should stimulate demand with a really huge government initiative to provide free Wellington Boots to every adult in the UK.

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